Think Like A Monk By Jay Shetty

summary of Think Like a Monk 

think like a monk summary

"Train Your Mind For PEACE and PURPOSE Everyday"

Intro

Never before have so many people been so dissatisfied - or so preoccupied with chasing "happiness". Our culture and media feed us images and concepts about what we should be while holding up models of accomplishment and success. Fame, money, glamour, sex, - in the end none of this can satisfy us. We all simply seek more and more, a circuit that leads t frustration, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and exhaustion.

one

Identity

When you try to live most authentic life, some of our relationships will be put in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is challenge worth taking on .

Your identity is a mirror covered with dust . When you first look in the mirror, the truth of who you really are and what your value obscured clearing it may not be pleasant, but only when that dust is gone can you see your true reflection .

As a monk, I learned early on that values are influenced by whatever absorbs our minds . We are not our minds, but the mind is the vehicle by which we decide what is important in our hearts .

No matter what you think your values are, your actions tell the real story. What we do with our spare time shows what we value. For instance, you might put spending time with your family the top of your list of values, but if you spend all your free time playing golf, your actions don't match your values, and you need to do some self-examination.

TWO

Negativity

When we criticize others, we can't help but notice the bad in ourselves. But when we look for the good in others, we start to see the best in ourselves to

We are social creatures who get most of what we want in life- peace, love, and understanding- from the group we gather around us. Our brains adjust automatically to both harmony and disagreement. We've already talked about how we unconsciously try to place others. Well, we also want to agree with others. Research has proven that most humans value social conformity so much that hey will change their own responses- even their perception-to align with the group, even when the group blatantly wrong.

Types of negative people

• Complainers, like the friend on the phone, who complain endlessly without looking for solution. Life is problem that will be hard if not impossible to solve.
• Cancellers, who take a compliment and spin out: "You look good today" becomes "You mean I looked bad yesterday"
• Casualties: who think world is against them and blame their problems on others.
• Critics, who judge others for either having a different opinion or not having one, for any choices they have made that are different from what he critic would have done
• Commanders, who realize their own limits but pressure others to succeed .
• Competitors, who compare themselves to others, others, controlling and manipulating to make themselves or their choices look better .
• Controllers, who monitor and try direct how their friends or partners spent their time, and with whom, and what choices they make.

The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.

SPOT,STOP,SWAP

Spot your negative thought stop that or swap that.

Instead of being angry we might describe ourselves as annoyed, defensive, or spiteful.

Three

Fear

Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life -Buddha

The truth is, we'll never live entirely without fear and anxiety. We'll never be able to fix our economic, social, and political climates to entirely eliminate conflict and uncertainty, not to mention or everyday interpersonal challenges. And it is okay because fear isn't bad; it simply a warning flag your mind saying "This doesn't look good! Something might go wrong! "

To hold us back by blocking us from our true feeling. The longer we hold that feeling, the more they ferment until eventually they become toxic.

We waste a lot of time and energy trying to stay in the comfortable bubble of our self made biospheres,

Four

Intention

In our heads, we have an image of ideal life our relationships, how we spend our time I work and leisure, what we want to achieve. Even without the noise of external influences, certain goals captivate us, and we design our lives around achieving them because we think they will make us happy. But now we will figure out what drives these ambitions, whether they are likely to make us truly happy, and whether happiness is even the right target.

We think that success equals happiness, but this idea is an illusion. The sanksrit word for illusion is maya, which means believing in that which is not. when we let achievements and acquisitions determine our course, we are living in the illusion that happiness comes from external what we want, when we find success, but all too often we find that when we finally get what we want, when we find success, it doesn't lead happiness.

part 2 GROW

Five

Purpose

Passion+Expertise+Usefulness=Dharma

You can't be anything you want. But you can be everything you are

Play hardest in your area of strength and you'll achieve depth meaning, and satisfaction in your life.

 

Dharma is of the body

Instead of listening to our minds we must pay attention to how an idea or activity feels in our bodies.

1. Alive. For some people, being in their dharma means they feel a calm, confident satisfaction. For others there is thrill of joy and excitement. In either case, you feel alive, connected, with a smile on your face. a light comes on.
2. Flow. In dharma, there is a natural momentum. You feel like you are in your lane, swimming, with the current instead of struggling through a resistant surf. when you are truly aligned, there is sense of flow-you come out of your own head and lose track of time.
3. Comfort. In you are our dharma you don't feel alone or out of place, no matter who comes or goes or where you are physical; where you are feeling right even if the place where you feels right is traveling the world. I don't like feeling of danger, but I have a friend who loves fast cars and jet skies. The danger -the worst case scenario is the both of us ,but for him it is worth it, or the danger itself is a joy. On stage, I am in my element, but someone else would shut down.
4. Consistency, If you have a great time snorkeling on vacation, that doesn't mean snorkeling, or being on vacation for that matters, is your dharma. Being your dharma is repeating. In fact, it gets better the more you do it. But a single event is clue to what energy you like, when and how you feel alive.
5. Positivity and growth, When we are aware of our own strengths, we are more confident, we value others abilities more and we feel less competitive. The inclination to compare yourself to others may not go away completely, but it shrinks because you only compare yourself to people within your area of expertise. Rejection and criticism feel like an assault.

SIX

Routine

Early to rise

Create a time cushion at the beginning of the day or you will spend the rest of the day searching of it. I gurantee you will never find the extra time in the middle of the day. Steal it, from your morning and give that sleep back to yourself at night. See what changes.

The emotion you fall asleep with night is most likely the emotion you will wake up with in the morning.

Location has energy

When you identify where you thrive, focus on expanding those opportunities. If you are drawn to the energy of nightclub in your leisure time, would you do better in career that is equally vibrant?

Time has energy

Location has energy; Time has memory.

If you do some something everyday, it becomes easier and natural

If you do something in the same space everyday, it becomes easier and naturaltion

Once we quell our external distractions, we can address most subtle and powerful distractions all, the voices inside our heads

Seven

The Mind

This battle of our mind is waged over the smallest daily choices(DO I HAVE TO GET RIGHT NOW ?) and the biggest (should I end this relationship?). All of us face such battles every day.

A senior monk once told me a Cherokee story about dilemmas that all of us agonize over; And the elder tells his grandson, "Every choice in life is a battle between two wolves inside us. One represents anger, envy, greed, fear, lies, insecurities, and ego. The other represents peace, love, compassion, kindness, humility, and positivity. They are competing for supremacy."

"Which wolf wins?" the grandson asks. 'The one you feed,' the elder replies."

The monkey mind

We humans roughly have seventy thousand thoughts each day.

This battle in our mind is waged over the smallest daily choices (Do I have to get up right now ?) and the biggest (Should I end this relationship?). All of us face such battles every step.

Master the senses

You are the sky. Everything is just a sky.

This is a remarkable level of sensory control-more that most of us are committed to developing-but do think of our senses as paths to the mind. Most of our lives are governed by what we see, hear, smell, touch, and taste.

If we work everyday to cleanse our thoughts, gently redirecting, ones that don't serve us then our minds are pure and calm, ready, for growth. We can deal with new challenges before they multiply and become unmanageable.

Eight

Ego

The Ego is a mask

We are a certain person at home, alone, but we present the world with another version of ourselves.

To contemplate the difference between yourself and your persona think about the choices you make when you are alone when there is nobody to judge you and nobody you are trying to impress. Only you know whether you choose to meditate or watch Netflix, to take nap or go for a run, to wear sweatpants or designer threads. Only you know whether you eat salad or a column o girl scout cookies. reflect on you who emerges when nobody else is around, no one to impress, no one with, something to offer you. That is a glimpse into who you truly are. As the aphorism goes, "You are who you are when no one is watching"

Judgement

There is a Zen story about four monks who together decide to meditate in complete silence for seven days and nights. The first day goes well, but as evening approaches, the first monk grows impatient because the monk whose job it was to light the lamp is still sitting, motionless. Finally, the first monk erupts, "Friend! Light the lamps, already!"

The second monk turns to him. "You broke the silence!" he exclaim.

The third monk jump in, Fools! Now you both broken the silence!"

The fourth looks at his companions, a proud smile creeping across his face. "Well. Well, Well" he boasts, "Look like I am the only one who has remained silent"

Ego isolates you. Don't live in a world where you start thinking you are so special that one person is worth your time and another is not

There is a danger in the words, "We have always done it in this way, " or "I already know that"

Part Three

Give

Nine

Gratitude

Gratitude is good for you

It is hard to belive that thankfulness could actually have measurable benefits, but the science is there. Gratitude had been linked to better mental health, self-awareness, better relaitonshipd, and sense of fulfillment.

One way scientist have measured the benefits of gratitude was to ask two of people to keep journals during the day. The first group was to asked to record things for which they felt grateful for , and second was asked for keep the journal for the time they felt hassled and irritated. The gratitude group reported lower stress levels at the end of the day. In other study, the colege student complained their mind was filled with racing thoughts and worries were told to spend fifteen minutes before bed listing for which they grateful.

Everyday Gratitude

A senior monk asks us new arrivals to write about an experience that we believe we didn't deserve. There is silence as we scribble in our notebooks. I pick an episode form my teenager years when one of my best friends betrayed me.

After about fifteen minutes, we share what we have written. one novice describes the painful premature depth of his sister, others have written about accidents or injuries, some discuss lost loves,. When we are done, our teacher tells us that the experiences we have picked all are valid, but he points out the fact that all of us have selected negative scenarios, none of us has written wonderful things which have happened by good fortune or kindness rather than through own effort. A wonderful thing that we did not deserve.

The practice of gratitude

There is story about a monk who carried water from a well in two buckets, one of which holes in it. He did this every day. without repairing the bucket. One day, a passer by asked him why he continued why he continued to carry the leaky bucket. The monk pointed out the that the side of path where he carried the full bucket was barren, but on the other side of the path where the buket had leaked, beautiful , beautiful wildflower had flourished

When the door of happiness closes, another opens: but often we look long to the closed door that we do not see the one which has been open for us

Ten

Relationships

Every person is a world to explore

Too often we love people who don't love us, but we fail to love people who love us

The four types of trust

1. Competence: The right person has the right skills to solve your problem they're an expert or authority in their area.
2. Care: They care about your well being and what is best for you, not your success
3. Character: People with a strong moral compass, uncompromising values.
4. Consistency: Reliable, present available when you need them.

AN INTENTIONAL LOVE LIFE

Again, I am not suggesting you give up sex(though you certainly could) , but what if you give yourself permission to be single, by yourself, able to focus on your career, your friend, and your peace of mind? Minister and philosopher Paul Tillich said, "Our language has wisely sesed these two sides of man's being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express pain of being alone and solitude the glory of being alone" .